From the Heart
The WÓWAUŊŠILA Blog
Some things are meant to be shared.
Stories that stay with us.
Lessons we learn from one another.
Moments of grief, hope, laughter, love, and ordinary kindness that remind us what it means to be human.
This is a place for those stories.
A place to reflect.
A place to remember.
A place to talk honestly about the things we carry and the people who help us carry them.
You may find something here that makes you think.
Something that makes you laugh.
Something that makes you cry.
Or maybe just a few words you needed on an ordinary Tuesday.
The Five Shovels
FEATURED STORY
It started with something ridiculously simple.
There were no shovels.
It was January. Bitterly cold. A family had gathered at a graveside to
bury someone they loved, and when it came time to finish the burial,
we realized something that should have been noticed long before
that moment.
No one had brought the shovels.
What happened next involved frozen ground, pieces of an old
cracked flowerpot, an argument with a funeral director named
Jasper Ironcloud, a very angry drive home through the fog, and
nearly a year and a half of stubborn silence.
But this isn't really a story about shovels.
It's about the things we assume are someone
else's responsibility.
It's about pride.
It's about the difference between being
technically right and choosing to care.
And it's about one unexpected conversation
at a gas station that I will be grateful for for
the rest of my life.
Some lessons arrive quietly.
Mine arrived without five damn shovels.
OUR PURPOSE
We’re glad you’re here.
A safe place.
A listening ear.
A helping hand.
You don’t walk alone.
PURPOSE 1 — OUR PURPOSE
No One Should Have to Carry Life’s Burdens Believing They Are Alone
WÓWAUŊŠILA: The Compassion Project was created from a simple belief:
Every person deserves to be seen.
To be heard.
To be valued.
And to know that they matter.
Life can be incredibly beautiful.
It can also be incredibly hard.
Grief. Loss. Loneliness. Addiction. Change. Disappointment. Fear. Financial hardship. Family struggles. A diagnosis. The end of a relationship. The loss of a job. The death of someone we love. Or simply one of those seasons when life becomes heavier than we ever expected it to be.
Sometimes there is no perfect answer.
Sometimes there is nothing anyone can say that will make everything okay.
But there is almost always something we can do.
We can show up.
We can sit beside someone.
We can listen without judgment.
We can make the phone call.
We can pour the coffee.
We can remember the birthday, the anniversary, the person who died, or the story someone is afraid the rest of the world has forgotten.
We can ask, “How are you really doing?”
And then we can stay long enough to hear the answer.
That is the heart of WÓWAUŊŠILA.
We believe compassion is not something that should appear only during a crisis and disappear when the crisis is over.
Compassion doesn’t end when the funeral is over.
The funeral ends.
People go home.
The phone becomes quieter.
Life begins moving forward for everyone else.
But the person carrying the loss still wakes up the next morning.
And the morning after that.
There are people experiencing that same kind of loneliness after many of life's hardest moments. The world continues moving while they are still trying to figure out how to stand again.
We want to remember the day after.
And the week after.
And the month after.
We want people to know that needing another human being does not make them weak.
That asking for help does not make them a burden.
That their story matters.
That their grief matters.
That their hope matters.
That they matter.
WÓWAUŊŠILA is not about having all the answers.
It is not about fixing people.
It is not about deciding what somebody else should need.
It begins much more simply.
See the person, not the problem.
Before the grief, there is a person.
Before the addiction, there is a person.
Before the diagnosis, the financial struggle, the mistake, the loneliness, the anger, the fear, or the circumstance someone may not understand, there is a human being.
A human being with a story.
A human being worthy of dignity.
A human being worthy of kindness.
A human being worthy of being heard.
And a human being who should never have to earn compassion before receiving it.
That is why our purpose begins with presence.
Not perfect words.
Not perfect answers.
Presence.
A chair.
A cup of coffee.
A conversation.
A phone call.
A hug.
A quiet room.
A person willing to listen.
Someone willing to say:
“I see you.”
“I hear you.”
“You matter.”
“And you do not have to carry this alone.”
If someone encounters WÓWAUŊŠILA, whether through a conversation, a gathering, a community event, a support opportunity, a presentation, or simply another person choosing compassion, our hope is that they leave feeling:
Seen.
Heard.
Valued.
Respected.
Safe.
Loved.
A little less alone.
And a little more hopeful.
Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer another human being isn't an answer.
It is our presence.
And sometimes that is where hope begins.
PURPOSE 2 — ORDINARY PEOPLE.
EXTRAORDINARY HEARTS.
You do not need a title to make a difference in someone’s life.
You do not need a degree in grief.
You do not need special training to notice when someone is hurting.
You do not need to have lived the same story.
And you certainly do not need to have all the right words.
Sometimes you simply need to care enough to show up.
That belief is at the heart of WÓWAUŊŠILA: The Compassion Project.
We believe some of the most extraordinary acts of compassion happen between ordinary people.
A neighbor checking on a neighbor.
A friend remembering the date everyone else forgot.
Someone bringing a cup of coffee and staying awhile.
A person making one more phone call because something in their heart told them they should.
Someone noticing the person standing quietly at the edge of the room and making space beside them.
A community gathering around someone who is hurting.
A stranger choosing kindness when judgment would have been easier.
None of those things sound extraordinary.
But to the person who needed them?
They can mean everything.
Compassion does not have to be complicated.
It does not always need a program, a meeting, a building, or an organization behind it.
Sometimes compassion is simply one human being saying to another:
“I noticed you.”
“I remembered.”
“I’m here.”
And then meaning it.
That is why WÓWAUŊŠILA is not being built around the idea that a handful of people will somehow care for everyone.
The vision is much bigger than that.
We want to help create communities where people care for people.
Where someone who has received compassion begins to recognize opportunities to offer it.
Where listening becomes normal.
Where checking on someone is not awkward.
Where kindness is not something we save for tragedy.
Where people learn that they do not have to solve another person’s problems in order to stand beside them.
Because sometimes we become so afraid of saying the wrong thing that we say nothing.
We worry that we will not know what to do.
We convince ourselves that somebody else is probably closer to them.
Somebody else probably called.
Somebody else probably knows what to say.
But sometimes everybody assumes there is a somebody else.
WÓWAUŊŠILA asks us to become that somebody.
Make the call.
Send the message.
Pull up the chair.
Pour the coffee.
Ask the question.
Remember the name.
Listen to the story again.
Sit in the silence.
Stay five minutes longer.
Come back tomorrow.
These are ordinary things.
But ordinary things done with extraordinary compassion can change the way another person experiences one of the hardest days of their life.
And sometimes something else happens.
The person who was once struggling begins to heal.
The person who once needed someone beside them becomes strong enough to sit beside somebody else.
The person who once needed hope becomes a source of hope.
Compassion begins to move.
From one person to another.
From one family to another.
From one community to another.
There does not have to be a hundred people in the room for that to matter.
There can be five.
There can be two.
There can be one.
Because if one person walks away knowing they matter, that matters.
And if someday that person helps another person know the same thing, compassion has already traveled farther than where it began.
That is how hope travels.
That is how love multiplies.
That is how compassion changes the world.
One heart finding another.
This is the kind of community WÓWAUŊŠILA hopes to help nurture.
Not perfect people.
Not experts with all the answers.
Just people willing to notice.
People willing to listen.
People willing to care.
People willing to show up.
ORDINARY PEOPLE. EXTRAORDINARY HEARTS.
That is not simply a tagline.
It is an invitation.
PURPOSE 3 — WHAT COMPASSION CAN LOOK LIKE
Compassion is not one-size-fits-all.
Neither are people.
Neither are families.
And neither are communities.
That is why WÓWAUŊŠILA: The Compassion Project is not being built around the belief that we should walk into someone’s life or community and tell them what they need.
We begin by listening.
We sit down.
We share a cup of coffee.
We hear the stories.
We ask questions.
We learn from the people who know their families and communities best.
And we ask one very simple question:
“What would help?”
Then we begin there.
Our hope is to create opportunities for connection, support, conversation, education, remembrance, healing, and hope in ways that are welcoming, comfortable, and genuinely useful to the people participating.
That may look like Grief & Hope Circles, where people can gather without pressure to talk, explain, or pretend they are doing better than they are.
It may look like Coffee & Conversation, where there is no agenda and no expectation beyond having a place to sit, a cup of coffee to hold, and another human being willing to listen.
It may look like one-on-one support for someone who simply needs a safe person to talk with.
Sometimes a person does not need a group.
Sometimes they need one chair across from another.
Sometimes they need someone who will listen to the same story for the tenth time because, on that particular day, they need to tell it again.
It may look like community roundtables, where we bring people together not because we already have the answers, but because the answers should come from the community itself.
What is hurting?
What is missing?
What is already working?
Who is being overlooked?
What could we do together?
And perhaps most importantly:
Who needs someone to show up?
It may look like Pinky Promise Gatherings, built around connection, encouragement, presence, and the simple promise that people matter.
It may include grief education and community conversations, helping families, workplaces, organizations, caregivers, schools, and communities better understand grief and become more comfortable supporting people through it.
It may include speaking and storytelling, because stories have an extraordinary ability to remind us that underneath our differences, human beings carry many of the same things.
Love.
Loss.
Fear.
Regret.
Hope.
Joy.
Loneliness.
And the need to know that somebody cares.
There may be opportunities centered around remembrance.
Around children and families.
Around people experiencing loneliness or major life changes.
Around those carrying grief that the rest of the world may not recognize.
Around simply bringing people together who might otherwise be sitting alone.
And as WÓWAUŊŠILA grows, there may be opportunities we have not even imagined yet.
That is intentional.
Because this project should never become so attached to its programs that it stops paying attention to its people.
Programs can change.
Needs can change.
Communities can teach us.
People can teach us.
We should always be willing to listen.
The goal is not to fill a calendar with activities.
The goal is connection.
The goal is for someone to walk into a room wondering whether they belong and eventually realize:
There is a place for me here.
The goal is for someone who has been carrying something quietly to discover that they do not have to carry it quietly anymore.
The goal is to create opportunities for people to find one another.
To listen.
To learn.
To remember.
To laugh.
To cry.
To drink coffee.
To tell stories.
To sit quietly when there are no words.
To help when help is needed.
And sometimes simply to be together.
WÓWAUŊŠILA will never measure the importance of an opportunity only by how many chairs are filled.
If one hundred people come, we will welcome one hundred.
If five people come, we will welcome five.
If two people come, we will pull up two chairs.
Because compassion is not measured by attendance.
It is measured by whether the person sitting in front of us knows they matter.
We do not want to arrive carrying all the answers.
We want to arrive with open ears.
An open heart.
A willingness to learn.
And yes, probably coffee.
Then we ask:
“What would help?”
And together,
we begin there.
PURPOSE 4
TO REMEMBER THE PEOPLE OTHERS MAY FORGET
One of the quietest forms of grief is realizing the rest of the world has moved on.
The funeral ends.
The flowers are gone.
The phone stops ringing.
People return to work, school, appointments, and ordinary life.
But someone is still missing.
A birthday still comes.
An anniversary still arrives.
A favorite song still plays unexpectedly.
An empty chair is still empty.
And sometimes the most meaningful thing another person can do is simply remember.
Remember their name.
Remember the date.
Remember the story you've already heard ten times and listen when someone needs to tell it for the eleventh.
Ask about the person who died instead of being afraid that saying their name will make someone sad.
Grief does not disappear because time passes.
Neither should compassion.
WÓWAUŊŠILA believes remembrance can be an act of love.
That might someday look like remembrance gatherings, anniversary check-ins, cards, community memorials, storytelling, memory projects, or simply reaching out on a day you know may be difficult.
Nothing elaborate is required.
Sometimes the most powerful message is only:
I remember.
I remember them.
And I remember you.
Because people deserve to know that the person they loved mattered.
And they deserve to know that their grief still matters too.
We remember because love does not end when a funeral does.
PURPOSE 5
TO LET COMPASSION TRAVEL
WÓWAUŊŠILA was never meant to belong to one person.
And compassion was never meant to stay in one place.
The hope is not to build something people simply come to.
The hope is to build something people carry with them when they leave.
Someone feels seen.
So they begin noticing someone else.
Someone is remembered.
So they remember another person.
Someone experiences what it feels like to have another human being simply show up.
And the next time they see someone struggling, they show up too.
That is how compassion travels.
Not through complicated programs.
Not because everyone suddenly becomes an expert.
And certainly not because one organization can possibly meet every need.
It travels through people.
Ordinary people.
A neighbor.
A coworker.
A teacher.
A teenager.
An elder.
A parent.
A friend.
A complete stranger who happens to notice that another human being is having a hard day.
One person chooses compassion.
Then another.
Then another.
Maybe that reaches five people.
Maybe fifty.
Maybe five hundred.
The number isn't the point.
The person is.
Because every person who feels less alone matters.
Every person who discovers that they are capable of making someone else's day a little lighter matters too.
That is the larger hope for WÓWAUŊŠILA: The Compassion Project.
Not simply to provide compassion.
To multiply it.
To create communities where showing up for one another becomes ordinary.
Where remembering matters.
Where asking “How are you really doing?” isn't unusual.
Where people understand that they don't need perfect words, special credentials, or all the answers before they are allowed to care.
They simply need to begin.
One conversation.
One act of kindness.
One person noticing another.
One heart finding another.
And then letting compassion travel from there.
Ordinary people. Extraordinary hearts.
That is not just something we say.
It is what we hope to become.
Together.
Pinky promise. ❤️